Throughout my travels I have come to realize that people tend to follow another person's advice more often than to rely on their own judgment. Being part of a group increases your chances for survival so it's no wonder we seek out a place to "belong". However, a group mentality can easily skew your judgment and a normally rational person's way of thinking is altered. I For instance belong to a family group, and I thought about growing my hair out, I've always wondered what it would feel like to have long hair. I mentioned this to my mother, who then said that long hair just "didn't suit me". I then found myself agreeing with her and telling myself that "she's probably right", not out loud of course because that's just crazy. Probably not the most insidious piece of advice, but I was surprised how quickly I was willing to follow that advice.
I have moved around from place to place more often than a lot of other people I know. In the last four years I lived in five different places, not really enough time to settle and make friends. I only see the people I truly consider friends during long holidays because they live far away. Although I know a lot of people from my classes, but I really don't see them as friends. So I really don't adhere to the group mentality simply because I don't have a group. I don't think this is a bad thing, because I believe that human intelligence goes down as the number of individuals in any group goes up.
People in a group tend to believe the same things, act the same way, own the same items, have the same hobbies. It's a paradox to consider yourself an individual when you also consider yourself a member of any group. You cease to become an individual once you are a part of that group, you start to identify yourself according to that group. I think it is more healthy to consider yourself an individual who happens to spend time around groups. That way you can receive advice while keeping your judgment your own, and you won't find yourself pressured to adhere to any type of group mentality.
Posts
To have a group other than the family group you have to let yourself have one. I personally try my best not to identify with a group so much that it causes me to lose what I like about myself. It's difficult sometimes, as it means that the person I have become is not the type of person that draws other people to me.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of what I [or anyone else] want, people will apply a label to you in their head; that's just how people are. I try to avoid labelling myself with anything but the basics. I stick with what I know "is".
As I put it on my last.fm page, "Daughter, sister, girlfriend, friend, that person who sits across from you on the bus and random passerby # 1321794ish." That is, essentially, what I am. That is how I identify myself. I'm a myriad of any other thing at any given moment, but these are the basics.
Having an identity is a good thing. What I am against is the mindless following that people do for the wrong reasons.
ReplyDelete