Making friends is never an easy thing to do, especially after high school. I would consider myself a well-known a more popular person in high school, whether that thought is a delusion or not I'm not sure. I mean I haven't exactly followed up on my ex-classmates and interviewed them on whether or not I actually was popular, because that's just weird. I wasn't the most athletic person either, I was the smartest in my class so that kind of thing could either make you a nerd/dork/social leper or the cool guy/nerd/social leper. Having the status as "the smart one" works both against you and with you when it comes time to be social with the humans, or plebs, or whatever. People tend to expect certain things about you, and if you don't deliver on those expectations, than what does that make you? Does that mean that the idea people had about you for years, maybe even decades, is totally wrong?
I would argue that, as social animals, we humans all deeply care about how other people view us. It is easy to say "Oh I don't care what people think about me, I do what I want!" But that logic is flawed (if it can even be called logic) because those same people will still be insulted, and hurt by harsh name-calling. Emos for example claim to be "non-conformist" and they tend to do what they want, but is it just me, or does every single emo look and act the same? I mean the make-up is almost like a uniform now. Ironically, for people who claim to be non-conformist they tend to do a lot of conforming. I suppose everybody needs to feel like they belong, which brings me convineintly back to my original topic on friends.
When I finished high school, I went to a university that none of my friends were going to, and taking classes they we not interested in. So over the course of one Summer, I suddently found myself alone in a larger city and I was no longer "the smart one". In fact I totally bombed in all of my classes during my first couple of years in University. I made a few friends, but no one I still have any contact with. I quickly realized that I am not the most special guy in the whole world, I am in fact average, I honestly can't think of one thing that I am exceptional at. I mean come-on look at me, I'm writing in a blog that nobody follows! As I try to come to terms with my own humanity, mortality and identity, I find it kind of depressing to have lost that "tag" I lived with throughout high school years. I recently transferred to another University at a different city, and I thought I would make more of an effort to make friends. But something surprising occurred to me, I realized that hey, I think I'm alright, I don't feel like I need anymore friends right now. I hate to say it but I might have actually grown-up a little, after 21 years it's about time. Although I'm still not letting go of my Legos, because they're kick ass!
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